God Doesn’t Hate Gays but Apple Music Might
a Very Serious investigation into the straightwashing of 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls
I recently opened Apple Music to listen to one of my favorite songs, 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls. I don’t know how many people under the age of 40 know this, but there are two versions of the song. The opening gets me every time!! The Mels, my favorites, coming in strong with the sultry, sexy “Candle light and soul forever/ A dream of you and me together.” They follow it up later with the phrase “be for real” which, anyone who knows me knows I love that phrase. I’m usually saying it when I’m ranting to a friend about someone who is either being fake, delusional, or both, but I love how soft they make it sound here.
Somewhere along the way the lyrics diverge. On version one, verse two, Ginger sings the lines “Any deal that we endeavour/Boys and girls feel good together.” This was jarring to me when I first heard it because I’ve only ever heard the second version, where in the second verse, Posh says “Once again if we endeavour/Love will bring us back together.”
To me, this song is about two people who love each other spending time apart and realizing that they actually want to be with each other, but they need to get out of their own way, slow it down, and be fucking for real!!! The lyrics in the second version play to that; Posh is saying “we’ve been through it but that’s okay! We love each other. We can do this now.” On the other hand, Ginger is playing to, I don’t know, gender essentialism??? If there’s one thing I’ve learned while dating, boys and girls actually feel really bad together actually. You can’t hypnotize me into thinking otherwise.
If were really getting into it, the first version is even more jarring to hear Ginger, the feminist leader talk about how boys and girls feel good together?? She sounds dickmatized. Where is the Girl Power in that???? Posh just sounds like she might be singing about Becks, which tracks. It’s so sweet! Another reason why the first version sucks and the second version fucks.
Baby actually explained that the Girls made the lyric change soon after the first recording because they realized they were gay icons. It was a good call. I’m sorry, I do hate to sound like a lib SJW snowflake, but the first version sounds like oppression being squished into my ears. I felt like I slipped and fell into the sunken place, the upside down. I skipped around the Apple Music app seeking refuge from this But I’m a Cheerleader ass lyric, but to no avail.
Sometime between 2021 and 2023, Apple changed all of the audio files (minus the orchestral version and music video where you can see the words coming from Posh’s mouth) from the second version to the first, despite the fact that only the album version is supposed to have the “boys and girls” line (according to Wikipedia). Bunton even covers the song with Robbie Williams on her 2019 album, where she uses the second (correct!!) version.
In the mid to late 2010s and early 2020s, both Drake and Kanye changed songs on their albums. One day everyone opened their streaming app of choice and there was a new version of Father Stretch My Hands Pt.1 with an added choir and some other tweaks that are mostly indiscernible to the casual listener. I doubt that Mel B and Gerri woke up one morning and said, “yeah actually we were right the first time, boys and girls do go together so bad.”
Apple Music, I have a big, nasty, possibly homophobic bone to pick with you.
I can’t believe that as a self proclaimed Spice Girls stan, I didn’t know about before! Screw you Apple Music! 🌈